Tuesday, July 28, 2015

why do people stay in violent relationship ?

yesterday I got a patient aged around 25 yrs beaten blue and black by her partner.She refused to file a compliant .On top of it husband and his relatives demand her to go back to his house.I understand from his point of view ,he wants to escape from police action ,he wants to still dominate the lady.What I don't understand is why she is willing to put up with abuse. Is it social pressure ,or any of the things.So I went to google to look at literature ...

          The reality is the abused, like my client, aren't always fragile or powerless. They come from all walks of life -- rich, poor, strong, weak -- and from both genders, female and male.
They don't stay for the pain, they stay for love.
          Victim-blaming is dangerous enough that, in summarizing the conclusions
(link is external) of hundreds of studies on domestic violence, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services cites, as a barrier to ending domestic violence, the brute fact that "peers, family members, and others in the community.
          These are just two lines that I copied, from psychologytoday , and have seen similar writeups, from other sites.
          I think people should understand that unless we assert our right for healthy and honorable life we don't get it,so people we should stop putting up with abuse be it from abusive partner, irresponsible civil servant or unresponsive politician .
         We should be the change we want in our life.